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Seddah [userpic]

Writer's Block: Grab and Go

April 6th, 2009 (01:23 pm)
sick

Current Location: Canada
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: So Much Love -- The Rocket Summer

Scenario: For exactly 1 minute, you get access to all the databases of all the intelligence agencies in the world (CIA, FBI, KGB, MI-5, etc). What do you want to find out before time is up and you're caught and jailed forever?
The truth about Area 51, what really happened on 9/11, if there really are people with "superhuman powers", who really killed JFK, and... I know there's more, I just can't think of it right now.

Seddah [userpic]

Writer's Block: Almost Famous

March 13th, 2009 (11:09 pm)
tired

Current Location: Canada
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: His Girl Friday -- The Academy Is...

What celebrity do you think looks like you? What celebrity do other people say you look like?
Honestly?  Patrick Stump.  No lie.  It's the glasses.  And the hair.  And the hat.

Seddah [userpic]

Writer's Block: Really, Truly

March 13th, 2009 (11:05 pm)
thoughtful

Current Location: Canada
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Reinvent the Wheel -- Bright Eyes

Do you believe in true love? What about love at first sight?
I believe in "true" love in that I believe you can love one person sincerely and unconditionally for your entire life, though I don't believe that there's only one person out there for everyone.

As for love at first sight, no.

Seddah [userpic]

Writer's Block: Bedside Manners

November 19th, 2008 (01:53 am)
depressed

Current Location: Prozac Nation
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Date Rape - Sublime

Hospital dramas are a time-honored staple of television, from General Hospital to County General to Seattle Grace. Which TV hospital would you most want to check in to? And who would be your doctor?
Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital and Dr. Gregory House.  SECKS-SEE.

Seddah [userpic]

I Hate Myself Today

October 13th, 2008 (04:43 pm)
sad
Tags:

Current Location: Canada
Current Mood: hurt and confused
Current Music: Who's Gonna Save Us? - The Living End

Just like yesterday.  Not cool.  Not calm.  Not gonna be okay, uh-uh.

//

I hate how things are right now.  It's mine and Boyfriend's 6-month anniversary today, which is great, but lately I feel like he's changing and I don't know who he is anymore.  I'm terrified that he'll stop loving me when he stops changing.  He's just not the same person anymore.  At least he doesn't seem like it.  He does, but he doesn't.  I just wish I knew what was going on with him.  I wish he would have told me about going out of town.  I wish we still slept at the same time.  I wish he cared about that.  I feel like I'm dying and I don't know if he's at my bedside or not.  I hate how things are.  I hate myself.  I feel like my heart is breaking really slowly.  I don't want to find out how it'll feel once it completely broken.

Seddah [userpic]

Lost Ones

October 10th, 2008 (05:35 pm)
sad

Current Location: Canada
Current Mood: crying
Current Music: Open Heart Surgery - The Brian Jonestown Massacre

I know I'm melodramatic sometimes, and quite often very paranoid, but I'm not imagining this.  Lately my boyfriend (who I will henceforth refer to as 'Boyfriend' -- or as whichever masculine pronoun is appropriate) has been shutting me out.  Or, more like, for the last 24 hours he's been shutting me out.  Yesterday I told him about an idea I had through which we could see each other as much as possible over the Christmas holidays.  He was very enthusiastic and completely on board.  Today, he's going out of town and he forgot to tell me.  He called me this morning before I went to sleep (after I spent about 20 minutes convincing him to call), but with the crapass connection Bell has, the phone cut out (as usual).  Normally he calls back.  This morning, he didn't.  So I texted him and went to sleep (I'd been up all night).  When I got up, he hadn't texted me back or talked to me on msn or anything.

Lately he just hasn't been wanting to talk to me.  At least it seems that way.  I know he's depressed, but I'm afraid of what could happen.  I'm afraid of drifting apart.  He's pushing me away half the time and the other half he's affectionate and loving.  It's killing me.  I never know how he's going to respond; with apathy or enthusiasm.  I love him so much.  But feeling this way is torture.  I know he loves me, but when he gets this way I get paranoid and suspicious.  Especially with what just happened with Pat and Emile (the fucking cunt!).  Sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care about our relationship.  After he said goodbye today (he's leaving to spend Thanksgiving with family out of town) I cried.  I seem to do that so often.  I cry whenever I feel like I care more than he does.  There are a million ways our relationship makes me cry.  Why is it there can't be that many ways to make me happy?

God, I'm watching TV and this commercial for Diabetes research came on.  It was for Juvenile Diabetes.  What really pissed me off was that every fucking diabetic person in the commercial was under 12.  If you were no longer diabetic after age 12, they wouldn't need to research a cure.  They always focus on the 'juvenile' part of it.  What about the rest of us?  The ones who have grown out of the juvenile bit but are still very much diabetic?  Fuck the people who came up with that commercial.  Why not show people that this is a lifelong thing?  Emphasize that no matter how old you get, you're still fucked.  I so rarely get upset about having diabetes, but that commercial just ... GOD, it made me SO ANGRY.  It doesn't help that I'm already emotional over Boyfriend.  It's just... FUCK!  You don't see anyone in commercials saying, "Oh fuck, that sucks that you're diabetic" to 21-year-olds.  You see them saying that about little children and seniors, but what about the rest of us?  We're old enough to deal with it adequately without being too old to have trouble with it?  That's bullshit.  I've been diabetic for ten fucking years.  Yeah, I'm used to it.  Yeah, I can deal with it fine.  But yeah, there are days when I'm just fucking pissed about it.  There are days when it freaks me out.  I've passed out for hours from a low bloodsugars.  I've been unable to wake up from high bloodsugars.  My life is going to be cut a lot shorter than other people's lives.  But I'm not a fucking child, so no one gives a shit.  I know that's not entirely true, but that's what I got from that fucking commercial.

Some days I just hate myself.

Seddah [userpic]

Everything Sucks (I'm So Upbeat)

October 5th, 2008 (05:34 pm)
pissed off

Current Location: 10 km past Homicidal, on my way to Massacre
Current Mood: I want to break her face
Current Music: Loser -- Cute Is What We Aim For

Though I'm hardly one to update regularly, I really just use this thing as a rant releaser.  And boy, do I have a rant for you.

I'll get the 'this has happened before but it's still fucked up' rant out of the way first.  The other night I came home from hanging out with my friends and I went into the family room intending to watch TV and whatnot.  When I walked in, my dad was asleep on the couch with his shorts around his ankles.  Thankfully his side was to me, so I didn't see anything this time, but the first time this happened there was full frontal on his part.  I hate coming home to this.  It's fucking creepy.  And now things are really awkward.  I told my mom about it and she talked to my dad, but she talked to him last time and it didn't do much.  I don't even want to be in the same room as him right now.  Which I feel guilty about, but I'm really uncomfortable with what happened.

Rant number two is a lot more venomous.  My friend Pat had been kind of dating this chick for a while.  Not long ago the kind of turned a corner and it looked like things were going to become 'official' between them.  He even bought her a laptop (she was going to pay him back).  I was really happy for him.  His last girlfriend was a freaking nightmare and was fucking crazy.  She was controlling and super bitchy.  I thought Emile would be a good change.  She had been the one who wanted to be in a relationship at first.  He wanted to stay single for a while, but he started developing feelings for her.

Then, about 10 days ago, she asked him for money so she could get a Greyhound ticket to Elliot Lake (which is pretty close) for a wedding.  She was supposed to be back by the first because that was the day she was supposed to have all her stuff moved out of her old apartment so she could move in with her aunt on Pat's street.  Pat, my brother, and I went to her apartment on the 30th because he hadn't heard from her and he was worried.  When we got there NONE of her shit was packed.  She said her aunt was going to go over and pack her stuff up but nothing had been touched.  We went over the next day and her landlord had packed all her shit up and was going to throw it out.  We told him we'd take it for her and we spent the afternoon loading her crap into Pat's truck.  There wasn't enough room for everything so we called his parents to come pick up the rest.  By the 3rd Pat was freaking out 'cause he still hadn't heard from her and she hadn't given him a number to reach her at in Elliot Lake.  He hadn't slept in days.

On the 4th she messaged him on Facebook.  It turned out she'd used the money to buy a ticket to London where she moved in with a new guy.  She never had any intention of coming back.  And her Facebook status read: "Never coming back to the Soo!  I'm staying with my man!".  The fucking CUNT!  I want to fucking kick her ass.  Anyway, Pat's heartbroken.  She's a lying, dirty, fucking gold-digging whore.  I was her friend.  I LIKED her.  I was so fucking wrong.  So I sent her a message before deleting her from everything.  I told her she had better fucking stay away.  I told her never to talk to Pat again.  I told her that if she came back and Pat wanted to see her, then fine, but she'd better stay the fuck away from me.  I'm never going to forgive her for this.  What fucking whore.  Emile, if you're reading this, choke on your boyfriend's dick and die.

Seddah [userpic]

Writer's Block: Pleasure Your Mate Month

September 4th, 2008 (02:58 pm)
mischievous

Current Location: Canada
Current Mood: mischievous
Current Music: Screaming Infidelities -- Dashboard Confessional

September is Pleasure Your Mate Month. Tell us: how do you like to pleasure your mate?

 

First of all, THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS.  I don't know if that's meant to sound so dirty or not, but either way, it's funny as hell.

As for an answer, I'm not going to divulge any "sexual secrets", but I'm not going to run down a list of little things I do to make him happy.  The idea of "Pleasure You Mate Month" is insulting.  That implies that it's all right to be a selfish, asshole boy or girlfriend for the rest of the year.  This isn't like the Christmas argument where people complain that everyone should be nice to each other year round.  Fuck that.  I want presents, damn it.  But really, if you're in a relationship with someone, you should always want to please each other and make each other happy.  If you can't do that by just being yourself, then maybe you're in the wrong relationship.

That was WAY more serious than I intended, lol To lighten the mood: BUTTSECKS.

P.S. Such an appropriate song for this entry XD
 

Seddah [userpic]

Writer's Block: Your Username

August 18th, 2008 (02:37 am)
tired

Current Location: Canada
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Don't Leave Me -- The All-American Rejects

Why did you choose your user name? Is there any special meaning or story behind it?
My real name is Sarah.  One day a few years ago, my friend Erin called me 'Seddah' and it stuck.  Now I use it as my username for a lot of things and lots of people actually know me as Seddah.  Case in point, John.

Seddah [userpic]

Writer's Block: Six-Word Story

August 15th, 2008 (10:13 pm)
tired

Current Location: Canada
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Several Ways to Die Trying -- Dashboard Confessional

Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” He is believed to have called it his greatest literary work ever. Can you write a story in six words?
"He let go when I couldn't."

I'm not Hemingway, but then again, I don't have a dick.

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